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10 Best Man Speech Tips That Will Get You a Standing Ovation

February 10, 2024
9 min read
SM

Sabine Medel

Wedding Speech Expert

Being chosen as the best man is both an honor and a responsibility. While your duties might include organizing a bachelor party and keeping track of the rings, delivering an unforgettable speech is where you'll truly shine. Whether you're writing a best man speech for your brother, best friend, or longtime buddy, these 10 expert tips will help you create and deliver a speech that earns a standing ovation.

Picture this: You stand up confidently, microphone in hand. The room falls silent. Over the next few minutes, you perfectly balance humor with heartfelt sentiments, have the audience alternating between laughter and tears, and end with a toast that brings everyone to their feet. This isn't just a dream scenario – with the right preparation, it can be your reality.

1. Start with a Bang, Not a Whimper

The first 30 seconds of your speech are crucial. This is when you either capture your audience's attention or lose them to the wine list and table chatter.

Strong opening options include:

  • A surprising statement: "For those who don't know me, I'm [Name], and I've known [Groom] since we were five years old – that's 237,000 hours of friendship, give or take a few thousand."
  • A memorable quote: "Someone once said that 'a friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.' After 20 years of friendship with [Groom], I can confirm this is absolutely true."
  • A funny (but appropriate) joke: "When [Groom] asked me to be his best man, I was honored. When he asked me to keep it under 10 minutes, I was devastated – how am I supposed to fit 15 years of embarrassing stories into just 10 minutes?"

Avoid clichés like "For those who don't know me..." without adding something interesting immediately after. Your goal is to be remembered for all the right reasons.

2. Follow a Proven Speech Structure

Even the funniest jokes and most heartfelt stories fall flat without a coherent structure. An effective best man speech typically follows this format:

  1. Introduction: Who you are and your relationship to the groom (30 seconds)
  2. Thank the appropriate people: Parents, guests, wedding party (30 seconds)
  3. Talk about the groom: Positive character traits, funny (but appropriate) stories (2 minutes)
  4. Talk about the couple: How they met, what makes them perfect for each other (2 minutes)
  5. Share wisdom or well wishes: Advice for a happy marriage (optional) (1 minute)
  6. End with a toast: Raise your glass to the couple (30 seconds)

This structure has a natural emotional arc – starting light, building connection, and ending on a high note – that resonates with audiences.

3. Master the Humor-Heart Balance

The best best man speeches aren't standup comedy routines; they're a balanced blend of humor and genuine emotion.

Aim for a 70-30 split: 70% light-hearted content and 30% sincere, emotional content. This prevents your speech from feeling too much like a roast or, conversely, too sentimental.

For the humorous parts:

  • Focus on stories that highlight positive aspects of the groom's character
  • Avoid inside jokes that only a few people will understand
  • Steer clear of ex-girlfriends, embarrassing mistakes, or anything that might make the groom or guests uncomfortable

For the heartfelt portions:

  • Speak genuinely about what makes the groom a great friend
  • Share an observation about the couple's relationship that demonstrates why they're perfect together
  • Don't force emotion – if you feel it, it will come through naturally

4. Keep it the Perfect Length

When it comes to best man speeches, the adage "leave them wanting more" applies perfectly. The ideal length for a best man speech is 5-7 minutes – about 750-1,000 written words.

Why this timeframe works:

  • Long enough to tell meaningful stories and make emotional connections
  • Short enough to hold everyone's attention
  • Respects the overall wedding timeline

To hit this sweet spot:

  • Write your full speech, then edit ruthlessly
  • Remove redundancies and tangents
  • Time yourself during practice runs
  • Speak slightly slower than your normal conversation pace when delivering

Remember: No one has ever complained that a wedding speech was too short, but too long is a common criticism.

5. Make it Personal, Not Generic

The most memorable speeches feel custom-crafted, not copy-pasted from a template. While structure can be universal, content should be unique to your relationship with the groom and the couple's story.

Ways to personalize your speech:

  • Specific stories that showcase the groom's character
  • Your unique perspective on the couple's relationship
  • Inside references that most guests will understand (shared hobbies, traditions, etc.)
  • Personal observations about how the relationship has positively changed the groom

Avoid generic statements like "they're perfect for each other" without supporting evidence. Instead, say: "I knew they were perfect for each other when I saw how Sarah laughed at John's terrible puns – something none of us had managed to do convincingly for the previous decade."

6. Practice Makes Perfect (But Not Memorized)

The difference between a good speech and a great one often comes down to delivery, which hinges on effective practice.

Effective practice techniques:

  • Record yourself on your phone and listen back
  • Practice in front of a mirror or trusted friend
  • Use the WeddingSage practice tool to get AI-powered feedback on your delivery
  • Practice with a microphone if possible
  • Time your run-throughs to ensure proper length

Aim to become very familiar with your speech, but not to memorize it word-for-word. Complete memorization often leads to a robotic delivery or panic if you forget a line. Instead, use bullet points or key phrases on note cards to guide you while maintaining natural eye contact and expressions.

7. End with the Perfect Toast

Your conclusion should be the emotional high point of your speech, culminating in a toast that brings everyone together.

Elements of a powerful toast:

  • A brief summation of your wish for the couple
  • Genuine emotion (this is the time to let it show)
  • A clear invitation for guests to join you in raising their glasses
  • Simple, memorable language

Example toast templates:

  • "Please join me in raising a glass to [Bride] and [Groom]. May your love continue to grow stronger with each passing year. To [Bride] and [Groom]!"
  • "To my best friend and his beautiful bride: May your marriage be filled with all the right ingredients—a dash of humor, a cup of trust, and a lifetime of love. Cheers to [Bride] and [Groom]!"

Make eye contact with the couple during your toast for an added personal touch.

8. Manage Your Nerves Effectively

Even experienced public speakers get nervous before important speeches. The key is managing those nerves so they fuel your performance rather than detract from it.

Proven techniques for managing speech anxiety:

  • Preparation: Knowing your speech well reduces anxiety
  • Power posing: Stand tall with shoulders back for 2 minutes before speaking
  • Controlled breathing: Take 5 deep breaths before you begin
  • Visualization: Picture yourself delivering a successful speech
  • Perspective: Remember that guests are supportive and want you to succeed
  • Arrive prepared: Have a backup copy of your speech and know when you're speaking

A note on liquid courage: While a small drink might calm nerves, too much alcohol before your speech is a recipe for disaster. Stay hydrated with water instead.

9. Master These Simple Delivery Techniques

How you say something is just as important as what you say. These simple techniques can dramatically improve your delivery:

  • Speak slowly and clearly: Most people speed up when nervous
  • Project your voice: Speak from your diaphragm, not your throat
  • Use strategic pauses: After jokes or emotional points
  • Make eye contact: With the couple, parents, and different sections of the room
  • Mind your posture: Stand tall with shoulders relaxed
  • Use natural hand gestures: Let them flow naturally, but avoid fidgeting
  • Smile: A genuine smile is contagious and puts everyone at ease

Remember, even if you're using notes, look up frequently to maintain connection with your audience. If you make a mistake, simply pause, take a breath, and continue – most guests won't even notice.

10. Leverage Technology for a Flawless Speech

Modern technology offers tools that can help you craft and deliver an exceptional speech. Take advantage of:

  • Speech analysis tools like WeddingSage's AI-powered speech coach
  • Voice recording apps to critique your delivery
  • Cloud storage for backups of your speech
  • Timer apps for practicing
  • Speech structure templates that you can customize

These tools don't replace personal touches but enhance them by helping you refine your content and delivery for maximum impact.

Conclusion: Your Standing Ovation Awaits

Creating and delivering a best man speech that receives a standing ovation isn't about being a natural comedian or orator – it's about thoughtful preparation, genuine emotion, and proper execution.

By following these 10 tips:

  1. Starting with a strong opening
  2. Following a proven structure
  3. Balancing humor and heart
  4. Keeping it the perfect length
  5. Making it personal
  6. Practicing effectively
  7. Ending with the perfect toast
  8. Managing your nerves
  9. Using effective delivery techniques
  10. Leveraging technology

You'll create a memorable speech that honors your friend, delights the audience, and quite possibly earns you that coveted standing ovation.

Remember, the goal isn't just to survive your best man speech – it's to create a meaningful moment that the couple will cherish in their memories of their special day.

Need More Help with Your Best Man Speech?

WeddingSage's AI-powered speech assistant can help you write, practice, and perfect your best man speech. From personalized templates to delivery analysis, we've got you covered.

Create Your Best Man Speech
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About Sabine Medel

Sabine Medel is a wedding speech expert and communications coach with over 10 years of experience helping people deliver memorable wedding speeches. She has coached hundreds of best men, maids of honor, and parents of the couple to create speeches that leave lasting impressions.